


I'll Always Be Here

by RedxMaude



Category: RWBY
Genre: F/M, Grief/Mourning, Romance, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-19
Packaged: 2018-09-18 01:01:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9357059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedxMaude/pseuds/RedxMaude
Summary: After dark, Jaune disappears from team RNJR's camp, and night after night Ruby follows him. But when she tries to help her friend recover from his grief, she isn't prepared for what he has to say about what's truly haunting him. Originally a one shot, here's a short Arkos fic that Lancaster fans might enjoy as well.Latest: Pyrrha's final thoughts... for Jaune.





	1. I'll Always Be Here

A crisp night breeze tickled loose a tendril of Ruby's hair, gently brushing by her cheek. A chill crept over her nose and finger tips, sending her snuggling deeper into her blankets, trying to turn away the cold.

"Jaune…"

An echo of Pyrrha's voice crept into her ear, tugging her back from the edge sleep. Ruby turned on her side, raising her head and looking around in the darkness that pushed against the glow of their campfire. Ren lay sprawled on his back on the other side of the camp, with Nora not far from his side, emitting a low, revving snore.

"Jaune…"

Straining to hear, Ruby lay flat on her back and closed her eyes, almost willing Pyrrha's voice to come whispering through the eaves of the forest.

"Alright Jaune, just like we practiced. Follow these instructions…"

Ruby sighed, recognizing the words from Jaune's training video. Clasping her hands on her stomach, she stared up at the sky, listening. Sluggish clouds winked stars in and out of existence, leisurely meandering through the night.

From behind a copse of trees to her right, Ruby heard the end of the video. Pyrrha's voice slipped through the dense undergrowth, muffled:

"You've grown so much since we started training, and I know this is just the beginning. Jaune, I – I… I want you to know that I'm just happy to be a part of your life. I'll always be here for you Jaune."

After a moment's pause, Ruby heard the high-pitched squeal of the video rewinding. As the ghost of Pyrrha's voice began its instruction again, Ruby roused herself from her makeshift bed and stood up, hugging herself tightly and tucking her hands under her arms.

Shivering, she stepped away from the light of the fire towards the dense cluster of trees. Waiting for her eyes to adjust, she stood silently listening to the murmur of Pyrrha's voice, and a soft rustling she assumed was Jaune.

Moving cautiously and purposefully, Ruby picked her way through the woods, testing the ground for loose rocks and fallen branches with every step. All around and above her, thousands of leaves began to shutter in a jabbering cacophony of sound, disturbed by a short, sudden gust of wind.

After a moment of half-blind stumbling, Ruby stepped into a small clearing. Through the clouds, weak shafts of white moonlight slipped down through the treetops, bouncing off the brilliant surface of Jaune's armor.

At the far side of clearing, he stood with his back to her, hacking away at an invisible foe.

"Again. And again," urged Pyrrha's echoing voice.

With a roar, Jaune slashed out and set the leaves to jittering and babbling again in prattled undertones. Within the chorus of flora, there seemed to be fractures of a dark, bodiless chuckle.

Panting, Jaune paused, his head and shoulders slumped, and for a moment nothing happened.

"Jaune…"

At the sound of his name, Jaune turned towards Ruby, rubbing under his eyes with the cuff of his sleeve. "Ruby," he said, collapsing his shield, but not sheathing his sword. His grip remained tightly wrapped around its hilt.

"Jaune, you have to stop," said Ruby, staring at the ground near his feet, unable to meet his eyes. "You can't keep doing this to yourself. Every night you're out here, playing that video over and over and over again. You never let it rest; it's like you're torturing yourself with this night after night!"

Looking up, her voice shook as she said, "I hear you, when you sneak away from the group. I hear _her_ voice, saying your name, endlessly. When the sun sets, you're a different person, Jaune. It's like – during the day, you can pretend, at least for us, that you're still the same light-hearted guy, but at night, when you think you're alone… We lose you, Jaune."

As she was speaking, Jaune's face slid into an expressionless mask, never breaking eye contact, waiting for her to finish. Taking a deep breath, she paused – and still he waited, knowing she had more to say.

"Jaune, I know that this must be so hard for you – I can only imagine… but we all lost her Jaune, all of us. We lost her, Jaune – we lost Pyrrha!"

Tears trickling down her cheek, her breath caught in her throat, forcing to her stop and start again.

"We need to lean on each other Jaune, so I need you to let me in. I need you to let me help you heal from this, or else you'll disappear with her, unable to move forward. Please Jaune," she begged, "let me help you."

Crying freely now, she took a step towards him and stopped. Motionless, he stared at her and let the moment stand in silence.

The restless voice of the wind trickled into the space between them, heedless of their midnight standoff.

Then, finally: "You can't help me, Ruby."

Shock jolted through her, pulling her back.

"What? What do you mean?"

"Because, this is all my fault," he said in slow, even tones. "This is my burden to bare!" he spat out, his voice rising slightly.

"Jaune, no…" Ruby murmured, "You can't take all of this on yourself. What happened to Pyrrha wasn't any more your fault than it was mine. She made her own decisions, Jaune, don't take that from her. She was a strong, brave woman who fought to save all of us!"

At this point, Ruby was yelling at him, running across the space dividing them and pushing her face into his.

"Do you hear me? She made her choice Jaune! She was a hero! Don't you dare take that from her! It's not your place to feel guilty! None of us could have saved her, believe me I tried so, so hard! Listen to me," she shouted, with emphasis, "Her. Death. Was. Not. Your. Fault."

A little short of breath, Ruby stepped away from him and tried to regain some semblance of control. All the while, Jaune still watched her – a slightly pained expression breaking down his stalwart façade.

Then, almost in a whisper, he said, "I don't blame myself for her death, Ruby, that's not what I meant."

Another beat of silence separated them, undisturbed this time even by the meddlesome night breeze.

"Ruby…" he started, his voice unsure. "She loved me. Pyrrha _loved_ me."

His fist tightened its hold on his sword, his hands shaking. "She _loved me_."

"Jaune…"

"But I couldn't love her! Not the way she needed me to. Don't you understand Ruby? She went to her death, knowing she was alone in this world. She loved me, and I couldn't love her back and she knew it! She knew it, Ruby!"

At this point, he was practically screaming at her. "Do you have any idea what that's like? To have to wonder, 'Dear God, what must have she been thinking in those last moments? Why couldn't I have just given her what she wanted?' Do you?" he roared, making Ruby flinch.

"No, of course not. How could you? How could you know what it's like to watch someone go off to their death, knowing that _they_ know in the deepest part of their hearts that you never loved them the way they loved you… that you never felt anything more for them than just friendship."

Jaune paused, visibly wracked by the effort to hold back his tears.

"She kissed me before she died, did you know that?" he asked, quieted. His voice started to waver, "Just once, before she left me to go fight that woman at the top of the tower. At that moment, I realized that some part of me always knew how she felt, but hadn't been able to believe it. That whole time, I never really _saw_ her – not that way."

Almost to himself, he said, "How could I not have seen her? How could I? I feel like a monster…"

Shaking his head, he looked away. So utterly surprised by his admission, Ruby stayed silent, not knowing what to say.

"You can't help me, Ruby. No one can."

And with that, he turned his back on her, leaving her to return to the campsite alone. Neither one of them uttered another word, but in the background, a small, distant voice said:

"I want you to know that I'm just happy to be a part of your life. I'll always be here for you Jaune."

* * *

I do not own nor did I write the dialogue for Pyrrha's video – all credit for these portions of writing belong to RoosterTeeth.


	2. So That You Might Rise

All that was left of daylight peeked over the horizon, the sun slowly bowing its head to night. A few weak rays of autumn light still trickled through the trees, wavering and sputtering but in some places dying out altogether.

Chasing the coattails of twilight, dark purple smudges of nightfall hunted down these last vestiges of yellow sunlight, blanketing the sky with their slow-moving footprints. Given an hour's time, they would stamp out bright pinpricks of sleepy stars, but not yet. It was still too early to wake them.

Slowing down their march towards Haven, the members of team RNJR started scouting out campsites for the evening. Eventually they stopped to make their dinner on the bank of a small stream, surrounded on three sides by birch trees and tall, looming oaks.

To the east rose the arrogant peak of a high cliff side, lording shadows over the grove.

Nora chattered endlessly, buzzing around Ren in chaotic circles. Slowly and methodically, he managed to move in and around the blur of constant motion, spitting fish lightly seasoned with salt, lemon, and thyme on thin sticks and setting them to cook by a campfire.

Contentedly, Ruby lounged by the fire, lying on her back with her hands behind her head and humming a sweet tune.

When the fish were cooked, they all sat in a loose circle around the camp. Nora jabbered away, alternating bites of food with incessant babbling about one topic or another.

"You know," she said at one point, mumbling around a mouthful of fish, "I'm really still not sure about this whole team 'RNJR' business."

Ren sighed, "Nora we've been over this, team JNRR just doesn't work as well."

"I know, I know, I know! But what about," she said, waving her arms dramatically as if unveiling a stage between her hands, "team RRNJ? That's a color! A pretty great one I might add," she said, patting her bouncy curls.

Jaune shook his head, smiling. "It's a nice try but I think it's a bit late to change the name now," he said.

"Aw!" Nora pouted, crossing her arms over her chest. "Nobody ever likes my ideas."

"That's probably because your ideas usually involve breaking someone's legs," Ren jibed, flashing her an impish smirk.

Sticking out her tongue, Nora picked up one of the roasting spits and hurled it past Ren's head where it buried itself inches deep in the rotting bark of a nearby tree.

Ruby chuckled to herself, gathering up what few plates and utensils they had. Tucking them into a dish rag, she carried them over to the stream and started washing away the leftover bits of food.

Jaune watched her as she left, his eyes briefly trailing the swaying motions of her cape before looking away.

Ever since the night that Ruby had confronted him about his grief for Pyrrha, something had been broken between them. Their smiles were more forced, their talks shorter and less frequent. She had seen the guilt that haunted him, the remorse that hid in the daylight behind a false bravado and a sense of optimism.

In an attempt to recoil from that part of himself, he had started to push her away. Despite his efforts, Ren and Nora had started to notice the distance opening up between them, watching as Jaune avoided Ruby's eye, walking a few too many steps ahead of the group…

But it wasn't in Ruby's nature to give up and walk away from him. Most nights, she'd follow him when he broke away from the team to resume his training with the memory of his former partner. She'd settle down a short distance away and silently watch as he moved through his practice forms, all the while listening to Pyrrha's familiar instructions.

Occasionally, she'd still try to talk to him, but without fail he always ignored her, continuing with his swordplay as if she wasn't there. Her voice would eventually trail off, resuming her silent vigil by his side.

Gradually it became a pattern: Jaune would drift away, followed minutes later by his persistent shadow. She'd plop herself down against a tree or a rock, wordlessly conveying patience and support. Some nights when he wrestled with his semblance, she would give him his space and return to the camp alone.

Tonight would be one of those nights.

* * *

With a nod, Ruby had picked herself up from her perch on a nearby log, heading back to where Ren and Nora lay sleeping. Half-noticing her absence, Jaune's shoulders tensed as he looked around at the darkness, feeling the night sky pressing down on him.

 _Alone_ , he thought.

Pausing Pyrrha's video, he shifted his stance and relaxed. He let his shield arm drop to his side, dangling by his hip. Trying to center himself, he raised the blade of his sword until it was level with his eyes. Glaring intently, he could just make out a weak reflection of his face, eyebrows furrowed over a blurred, whitewashed mix of features.

 _Concentrate_ , he thought, taking a deep breathe.

Exhaling with a huff, Jaune's grip contracted around the hilt, causing his reflection to quiver. Summoning up his strength, he tried to recall that warm feeling of a white light spreading from his gut to his limbs, hovering over his skin like a shield.

Slowly, he felt it building.

_Come on!_

Bit by bit, he felt the energy rising – first to his chest, speeding up his breath and fluttering in his lungs. Then it spread to his arms. Inch by inch, he fought for more – making the light brighter and more intense. He felt it slowly working its way down towards his fingertips.

A sudden breeze swept through the clearing, breaking his concentration for the briefest of moments. The energy snapped back, smoldering like a dying fire in the pit of his stomach.

"Damn it!" he yelled. Frustrated, he chucked his sword, watching it flip once before landing point down in a patch of grass, the blade sliding several inches into the soft earth.

Trembling with a thinly controlled rage, Jaune threw himself back into the stream of energy, trying to will it to return to the surface. Balling up his fists and bending over with the strain, his mouth dropped open in a silent scream.

He felt some intangible part of himself reaching for it, like an invisible hand swatting at a dim glowing ball of light, but every time he felt he got close to it, it skidded away out of reach.

"COME ON DAMNIT! It's so close!"

For several minutes he struggled, trying to force the energy inside to resurface, but he was unable to bring it back to where it was before he'd lost his concentration. At this point he was pacing, occasionally grunting or yelling in frustration.

Turning swiftly on his heel and clenching his hands in his hair, Jaune whirled to a stop.

Out of the corner of his eye, he thought he'd seen a glimpse of red, a spectral outline of a ghost not there.

Looking around, he tried to find it again, failing. Turning madly, he tried to see if he could replicate the phenomenon, feeling the blood pounding in his head.

_There!_

For a split second the red shape shimmered in the air, fading as quickly as it had appeared.

"Pyrrha?" he called.

"Pyrrha!"

Running towards the spot he'd last seen the red light, he dropped his shield and pawed through the bushes, desperately searching.

When he found nothing he threw a wild punch at a nearby tree and cried, "WHERE ARE YOU!"

"Where did you go?" he yelled at the empty space, voice still raised in anger. "Don't you dare, Pyrrha! Get back here! PYRRRRRRRHHHHHHAAAAAAA. Come back!"

Roused by the noise, Ruby, Nora, and Ren crept to the edge of the clearing and watched from a safe distance.

"AHHHHHHHHHH," Jaune roared, throwing back his head and tossing up his hands. Unbidden, the white light of his aura surged over him hot and bright, called up by his roiling emotions.

It grew stronger and stronger, rippling through the air around him. His three teammates put up their hands, protecting themselves from the wind that now buffeted and assailed the woods.

Frozen in place, Jaune tried to move. The effort disturbed the white force field thrumming over his skin and it exploded with a flash, dissolving into a series of black shadows that swirled through the air like wraiths.

"NOOOOOO," he roared, still fighting for control.

A desperate fury surged within him, and suddenly the shadows shot off in all directions. One of them raced towards his discarded sword, wrapping around the blade. It pulsed and the blade shuddered, the metal bending and distorting under the pressure.

The shadow suddenly lifted the sword out the ground with a sharp _snick_ and it went flying through the air in a deadly arc. It flew by Jaune whose back was turned to the blade, soaring past his shoulder, up into the night sky where it disappeared above the trees.

As he watched the black-rimmed blade sail by, a memory echoed in his mind, the words ringing in his ears:

' _For it is in passing that we achieve immortality. Through this, we become a paragon of virtue and glory to rise above all. Infinite in distance, and unbound by death, I release your soul and by my shoulder protect thee.'*_

Pyrrha's voice trailed off, the memory starting to dissolve. She had uttered those words the day she had unlocked Jaune's aura with hers.

All four of the people in the clearing stood silently for a moment; the only movements were the darting of their eyes as they glanced from face to face.

After several minutes, Ruby's small voice shattered the quiet.

"Jaune… did you just…"

Jaune looked down at his hands, tears welling in his eyes and threatening to spill over onto his cheeks.

_I just…_

_I just used Pyrrha's semblance._

In a broken tone, he answered her, "I did."

His vision blurred, erasing his hands from his view. The world puddled into a pool of dark colors and Jaune shook with sobs that racked his being. He tried to hold it in, but the pressure threatened to break his ribs.

Losing the fight, he let loose a wild cry that shook the night and tinted his vision red.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

He struggled to catch his breath, incoherent words forcing their way out of him.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this. It's all wrong, so wrong!" he cried, his voice starting to split at the seams. He could taste blood in the back of his throat, the bittersweet beads of liquid oozing from the raw edges of torn skin.

He paused, choking on his tears.

The others stared uselessly, too shocked to act.

Lost within himself, Jaune moaned and let waves of grief wash over him. He dropped to his knees, sapped of all his strength. For several moments he stayed there motionless, until he felt a small warmth spread over his shoulder, as if the ghost of a hand lay there.

Almost a whisper, he heard Pyrrha's voice by his ear.

"Jaune," she said.

Looking around he saw that the others couldn't hear her voice. Their faces were blank masks, exchanging glances with one another.

"Jaune," she said again, "I give this piece of me, so that you might rise."

His sobs slowed as he tried to breathe, tears still rolling down his cheeks.

"Be strong…"

And with that, the voice was gone.

* * *

Author's note: These two chapters make up my first ever fic - originally posted to fanfiction a few weeks ago, now I'm just starting to post stuff here on AO3 as well to see how it goes. Feel free to lemme know what you think!

*This part of Pyrrha's dialogue comes from Volume 1 Chapter 6 of RWBY. I take no credit for these lines - all props for this part of the writing goes to the team over at RoosterTeeth!


	3. And Still I Will Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pyrrha's final thoughts... for Jaune.

_Are you ready?_

_I – I need to hear you say it._

_Stop. Stop! Pyrrha please don't do this!_

_Shh. This is your home now._

_You were promised a power that was never truly yours._

_You could never have imagined…_

I wanted to choose you, Jaune. Know that. I always wanted to choose you but… I couldn't.

_Do you believe in destiny?_

_Yes._

I believe…

_What if you could suddenly fulfill your destiny in an instant, but at the cost of who you were?_

_Pyrrha, you're not making any sense._

_None of it makes sense!_

_Please – I'M JUST TRYING TO UNDERSTAND WHAT'S WRONG!_

_I'm – I'm sorry._

I'm so sorry.

Jaune.

Please believe… I'm sorry…

In that _one_ second – did you know? Did you know that I will love you, always?

There were moments. Moments when I could almost… believe.

I could almost believe that you did. Like when you held my hand – do you remember that time? You knew something was wrong, but you couldn't have any idea what… and still you tried to open yourself up, you tried to help me.

We were sitting in the courtyard. Fall leaves were drifting down from the trees. You'd brought me a cotton candy from the fair grounds.

You had no idea, but…

_You were the first person to ever believe in me, you know that?_

" _How can I help?"_ you said.

Jaune…

You had no idea. You were always helping me. And when you touched my hand, I loved you – as I will always love you.

_What would you do if something came along… that you never expected?_

Even still I'm not sure who I was really asking – me, or you. I was looking for answers, where none were to be found.

Sometimes, we find ourselves in these impossible situations. How are we ever supposed to know what the right thing to do is? How can we ever truly be _sure_? Life is inherently uncertain…

I only wish that I could've spent more of it with you.

It's funny, you know, that now of all times I'd be having this dream of you.

_Do you… believe…_

_What if it's my destiny? I've always thought, and recently I've come to find that it's all too true…_

And then I kissed you.

It was the end – the end of our little world of childhood dreams of heroes and heroines. Of grand figures who always defeat the villains and save the day. Of neatly wrapped up, tied in a bow storybook endings.

It was the end of you, and me.

But in that one, simple moment…

_Ah! Where is it…_

_Pyrrha! I –_

_Pyrrha?_

_What was all of that?_

_There's no time…_

_Pyrrha… what are you gonna do? No – no, Pyrrha you can't. You saw how powerful she is! Pyrrha, I won't let you do –_

Do you have any idea how long I'd waited? All that time we spent together, all of it leading up to just that one kiss…

All that time I wasted, afraid.

Please, don't make the same mistake I did Jaune. Don't live your life in fear, afraid to say or do the one thing – the _one, simple thing_ – that could bring you happiness.

Please…

I will never regret taking that final step – of reaching out, and holding you. Of being close to you, and feeling your lips on mine.

Did you know it then?

Was that the first time you realized just how I felt?

It's okay if it was. I think something inside me told me just how surprised you were. You loved me, as a friend. You would have fought for me, you would have lost yourself trying to save me.

And so I had to hurt you, I had to push you away.

And still, I loved you.

I will always love you.

I'm not sure how much time I have left, how much longer I have to be _me_. It can't have been more than a few seconds, but these last moments have felt like _hours_ to me. And I thank the gods or whoever it is that's watching over me, letting me have this.

This dream of you.

Jaune… if only you could hear me, if only you could hear me now.

I had never given it much thought before, you know.

I had never _really_ wondered what my last thoughts would be. I guess it's not all that surprising that they'd be of you.

Because you are my heart, Jaune. You and Ren and Nora – Ruby and all the rest. But you Jaune, I will love you always, even when I can't say the words. Even when I'm gone – and I'm not this _I_ anymore, this person who can string together thoughts, or have these feelings.

Do you know what I was asking, Jaune?

Do you believe in destiny?

I always knew that I had been born to serve, to protect. To fight for those who couldn't fight for themselves.

What I hadn't seen coming was you, or how I'd feel when…

Jaune, I think it will be time soon.

I can't see your face now.

I sent you away.

_I had to…_

I couldn't let you die here with me. I had hoped – I really, _really_ did – that I would make it back to you. Some small part of me thought that just maybe, I'd win this fight.

But just a small part.

I think that's why I'm still here, still holding on.

It won't last much longer, and I know you can't hear me but –

Jaune! Please! If there's any way, if it's even possible, _please hear me_!

You could always think of me as a friend,

And still I will love you.

You could grow old and find someone that you truly want to spend the rest of your life with,

And still I will love you.

You could hate me for the rest of your days for what I've done to us and to our team. You could scream and shout and swear at me until the words run out,

And still I will love you.

You could fall in love with a woman who gives you beautiful children, and live a long, beautiful life that makes you forget –

_Please, I want you to forget –_

All of the bad things that happened to you when you were young and the Grimm attacked and the tower fell and I died,

And still I will love you.

Just please, please don't let what I did hold you back from living your life. I don't want you to grieve forever. It's okay, to be sad. For a little while,

And still… I will love you.

But it's also okay to move on. It's okay if it all fades away, bit by bit every day, and you start to feel happy –

_You know that all I want is for you to be happy, right?_

Even if that happiness, doesn't include me

And still… I…

Bit by bit, every… day. It fades – fades away

I…

Jaune, and still I…

I think I'm out

Of time,

Jaune –

And still… I will…

_Jaune, it's okay –_

And still…

I will –

…love you…

* * *

Author's note: So – this chapter was completely organic, no outlines or plans – nothing. I was just sitting there, watching Netflix and minding my own business when I thought to myself, "What if I wrote a story that was just Pyrrha's dying thoughts?"

Basically what I tried to do was answer Jaune's feelings of guilt in the first two chapters of this because I had done a spin on Jaune-guilt fics in which he feels guilty, not because he didn't save Pyrrha or didn't realized he loved her until it was too late, but because he never loved her as more than just a friend and she knew it in the end.

So here I just tried to achieve some catharsis (although heartbreaking) by giving Pyrrha the chance to accept him for who he was and how he loved her. (Not gonna lie I was crying pretty much the whole time I wrote this)

As always, please, please, please feel free to reach out and let me know how you think it went! I really appreciate your feedback.

*Several of the italicized lines in the beginning of this chapter are quotes from RWBY volume 3, all credit and props to the team over at RoosterTeeth!


End file.
